Fear

I have learned many things throughout being sick for 2 1/2 months. I spent a lot of time being scared. A lot of worthless worrying went on in my life. Too much time thinking about my well being when the Lord was in the process of healing me. I know I wasted time, I know I wasted mental capacity, and I know I was lacking trust.
Francis Chan said something that changed my perspective a great deal. FEAR IS LACK OF TRUST IN GOD AND TELLING HIM HIS PLAN ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH. I spent a lot of time dwelling on this.
I remember being so weak at one point that I couldn't walk more than 100 feet without feeling out of breath and the need to throw up. So for the next month and a half, I spent my time worrying about what would happen if I tried to walk again. Would I fall? Would I go back to the hospital? It scared me so much that I didn't walk for a good long time. One day I woke up to catch a flight to Minnesota. We were running late so I started jogging. Only to look back an hour later and think to my self "Was I just jogging"? I was honestly thinking how long before that I could have been jogging as well if I was not so scared.
I have a friend who is truly terrified of demons. She heard a story about her friend that had a demon following her, even to her front doorstep. This scared my friend so much that she had to call me before she would take the walk from her car to her doorstep. She was crippled by her fear, too scared to walk out in faith. Too scared to take a chance and trust the Lord.
One day she couldn't help but feel like a child for her fear. So one night after we were hanging out with a group of friends, I was expecting her to call me and tell me that she was walking to her door. But, instead I got a call that said "I made it to my door!" She took a moment to pray, to gain some confidence, to truly trust God and she walked to her door. She later told me she doesn't know why she was so afraid before and that she should have trusted a long time ago. We all need the option to not trust God. If we don't have that option, we also take away the option to choose faith, which allows us to conquer our fear.
How much time do we waste in fear? How much time do we spend being afraid of something like this earth that the Lord has already conquered?
Through this process the Lord has taught me that fear is a beautiful thing to experience. It caused me to grow. It showed me that fear should not be taken away because we would not gain from that, but fear is to be conquered with faith.