death to life

I felt God on my heart yesterday and today that he wanted to show me something. I woke up this morning and asked God to reveal Himself to me. I was on my way to coffee with a few friends and I felt God tell me that "This is the place I will speak" a coffee shop? thats cool I guess God. So my friends and I sat down after a 40 year old woman hit on me for about 5 minutes. I was flattered and freaked out all at the same time.
We talked about normal things for quite some time. Our significant others, finances, what our plans are for the evening. My friend who I will call Debra was with us there. She is an awesome girl, a few years back I probably asked her to marry me about 4 times. She never gave in to my confessions. She's that girl everyone kind of wants to marry. Loves Jesus, beautiful girl, great career ahead of her, and constantly after God's heart. She is huge on justice. Whether it's for the poor, womens rights or just plain old respect. I remember this one time I threw my friend Laura's lolly pop into a forest at Disney land because I hated the way she was eating it. Debra was so mad at me. I felt as if I punched a baby directly in the face. All in all she is a great girl who you would pin as a girl that has it all together.
I was expecting regular conversation for the rest of the breakfast. Then out of nowhere Debra opens up and says did you guys know I used to be suicidal? I finished putting cream cheese on my bagel awkwardly and murmered under my breath, "Um, No?" She said, "Ya. A few years back I hated myself. I didn't want to die. But it was wierd, I kinda felt like it was the only option and it was all I thought about for a good 6 months. I wondered what it would be like if I wasn't here. It was weird, I didn't want to do it really, and it scared me to think about if I had a bad day if I would actually go through with it."
I put Debra on a pedistal. I thought she was perfect. No problems at all. Just a beautiful Christian girl. The Lord opened my eyes today just to remind me that we are all so broken. And through her brokenness she was able to lead others out of suicide by bringing their souls from death to the love of Christ; life.
We all have friends who we think have it all together. And if Debra hadn't opened up to her friends they would have never known. They would have never seen beyond her smile. Would she have gone through with it if she never opened up about it? I don't know. But what I do know is that I don't want to assume my friends are fine.
What friends do you have that carry a smile with a weight behind their skin? Are they truly ok? How will we know if we dont ask?
Don't assume, ASK, and see what God will do.